Sat
Feb
6
Some Useful Condescending Phrases
- Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
- The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
- I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
- Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
- I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don’t care.
- I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
- What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
- I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.
- I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
- I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
- It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of Karma to burn off.
- Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
- No, my powers can only be used for good.
- How about never? Is never good for you?
- I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
- You sound reasonable…Time to up my medication.
- I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
- I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message…
- I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.
- Who me? I just wander from room to room.
- My toys! My toys! I can’t do this job without my toys!
- It might look like I’m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I’m really quite busy.
- At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
- You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
- I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
- Someday, we’ll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
